We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
