You can't motorboat a personality
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
