If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
