one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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