miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
