That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
