She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
