i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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