I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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