the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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