I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
