Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
