what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
