I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize