once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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