sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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