that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
