Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
