Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
