I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
