what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize