"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
