What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
