dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
