I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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