never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
