he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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