okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
