just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
