Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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