No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
