remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
