I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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