I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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