Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
