I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
