K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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