I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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