just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
