so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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