how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
