I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
