so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize