he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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