This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
