so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
