You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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