I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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