You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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