She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
