love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
did i just pee glitter
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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