I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
