He is an equal opportunity slut.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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