i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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