there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
