You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
