gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
