As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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