My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
