I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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