then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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