your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
