Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
